i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
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Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
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Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
i now understand why vodka
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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