Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You can't special order awesome
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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