those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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