Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
