I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
