Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize