i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
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