It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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