someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
