it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
