I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
