i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
