Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize