I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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