Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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