I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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