just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
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