Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize