gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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