Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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