STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
