there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
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Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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