Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
