hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
