She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
vagina is talking i cant
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
