Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
