would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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