I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize