oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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