what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
