what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
