Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
