god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
