Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Randomize
