im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
