yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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