she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
