I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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