you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
