Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
