We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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