Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
More tranny stories later!
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
