it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
