it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
