It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
