chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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