But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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