Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
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If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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