OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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