i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
