haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Randomize
