Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
