Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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