Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
