are you so shy because you have an std?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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