Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
