I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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