obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
