She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
please come you make the beer taste better
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
