How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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