shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
