Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
