Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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