I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
